The Soft Pitch

This is for people who can read…loaned to me from Julie S. a new softball friend in Canada…yes I tweaked it a bit (you can guess where)in paragraph 2

Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all …

and a fiscally successful(especially if your an AVT stock owner) ,
personally fulfilling, Cubs win a world series, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted calendar
year 2008, but not without due respect
for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make your country (Canada included) great,
and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer platform, weight, hair color or no hair, meat or non meat eater, size sofball you play with it, to drink egg nog or not, eat fruit cake or not,
or sexual preference of the wishee.

- DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY
-

(By accepting this greeting,
you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the
original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings
for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish
or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.)