Welcome to 2010.
I can feel the excitement, the resolutions being penned, the “how did we get here so fast”, the thought of “so many possibilities”. And that’s how a new year should feel. Especially, filled with the thought of “so many possibilities”.
This year, I want to create a challenge. A challenge that involves you (and me) being the best, doing our best – everyday in the moment – living up to the name of this blog – Customers Matter.
But where to start? At home, with you…
Carol Kinsey Goman talks about Drew Westen’s book, “The Political Brain” in “Five Tips to Improve Your Personal Curb Appeal” about investing first in ourselves.
How’s your personal curb appeal? When your co-workers, clients, and business partners “drive by” you, how do you come across? If you’d like to improve, here are five tips to keep in mind:
1. Dress for success.
When it comes to curb appeal, the way you dress matters. A lot. Clothing has an effect on both the observer and the wearer. It has been proven people are more likely to give money (charitable donations, tips) or information to someone if that person is well dressed.
Dressing for success doesn’t necessarily mean you have to wear a suit to work. Many organizations have a more casual dress code. But it does mean that whatever you wear should help you make the statement that you are a competent professional.
2. Maintain positive eye contact.
Eye contact is most effective when both parties feel its intensity is appropriate for the situation. This may differ with introverts/extroverts, men/women, or between different cultures. But, in general, greater eye contact—especially in intervals lasting four to five seconds—almost always leads to greater liking.
Looking at someone’s eyes transmits energy and indicates interest. As long as you are looking at me, I believe I have your full attention. In my book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work,” I offer a simple way to improve your likeability factor: Whenever you greet a business colleague, remember to look into her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.
3. Learn to speak the body language of inclusion.
Back-to-back doesn’t do it. But belly-to-belly—facing people directly when talking with them—does. Even a quarter turn away signals your lack of interest and makes the speaker shut down.
Remove barriers between you and the other person. Take away things that block your view. Move the phone or stacks of paper on your desk. Better still, come out from behind your desk and sit next to the person you’re dealing with.
Use palm-up hand gestures when speaking. Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands—all are silent signals of credibility and candor. Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden, or held close to the body, etc.).
4. Use your head.
The next time you are in a conversation where you’re trying to encourage the other person to speak more, nod your head using clusters of three nods at regular intervals. Research shows people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods in this manner. You’ll be amazed at how this single nonverbal signal can trigger such a positive response.
Head tilting is another signal you are interested and involved. As such, head tilts can be positive cues when you want to send messages of empathy and understanding. But a tilted head also is subconsciously processed as a submission signal. (Dogs will tilt to show their necks in deference to a more dominant animal.) And in business negotiations with men, women—who tend to head-tilt the most—should keep their heads straight up in a more neutral position.
5. Activate your smile power.
A smile is an invitation, a sign of welcome. It says, “I’m friendly and approachable.” The human brain prefers happy faces, recognizing them more quickly than those with negative expressions. In fact, a smile is such an important signal to social interaction it can be recognized from 300 feet—more than a football field away.
Most importantly, smiling directly influences how other people respond to you. When you smile at someone, they almost always smile in return. And, because facial expressions trigger corresponding feelings, the smile you get back changes that person’s emotional state in a positive way. This one simple act will instantly and powerfully increase your curb appeal.
Drew Westen found, after party affiliation, the most important predictor of how people vote is their emotional reaction (gut feeling) toward the candidate. I found similar results in the work place. We all want to do business with and work for people who come across as friendly, trustworthy, competent, confident, and empathetic.
I can’t guarantee you’ll win a political election. But improve your curb appeal and I will guarantee you’ll be more successful in your career.
Here’s to a great start for 2010!
M
Posted under Customers, Employees, Leadership
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